‘Amma’ Mia

Amma,

 

I am very conscious that I probably do not tell you this enough, but you mean a lot to me.

 

Growing up, you were my best friend up until I became old enough to make some friends of my own. Yes, there were others, but you single-handedly get the credit for being there for every one of my triumphs, sorrows and rants. Probably because you were always around. Almost everything I know today, I do because of you.

 

I remember the times that I used to run to you in school, trying to distract you from your work. Irrespective of how busy you were, you’d always find the time to hear me out and offer me a solution. I remember all the fun times, we’ve spent together doing homework, making charts for art class, designing towers for science projects, gossiping about movies and books and just talking about absolutely randomness. Even today, when I sometimes read to Rishi, I remember all those stories you used to tell me and all the night-time books we’ve read together. You taught me that the world wouldn’t be an easy place, and that it wasn’t always going to be a care-free ride.

 

Of course, we used to fight. In fact, some of them were down right vicious. But we always made up by the end of the day.

 

And then came the first separation.

 

I still remember those tears-filled eyes of yours when I let go of your hand and walked through those giant gates of the boarding school. I know it was difficult for you. I know how much it would have hurt you to see your only one move away from you. Yes, you remained strong. You gave me the strength to move on. You gave me the freedom to be independent. Though we hardly saw each other in the year that followed, you made the efforts to keep in touch with me. Even when I got caught up in that vicious circle of studies, sports, new friends and my new-found freedom. And when I returned after a year-long exile, a changed angry teenage, indifferent to everything and emotionless on surface, you still looked after me. You showered me with unconditional love and supported me.

 

Though I pretended not to see it then, or even understand it, I do now. And then came the day, when I left your home for good. I had grown up – gone from being the darling apple of your eye to a young ambitious man, wanting to explore the world, to break free from all shackles and emotions, and live life on my accord. I now know, how difficult it was for you to let me go again. Yet, you continued to be strong. You fought against your own emotions, not wanting to stand in the way of me chasing my dreams. And when I eventually brought you the girl of my dreams, you accepted her with open arms, even knowing well, that you would no longer be the only woman who I truly loved.

 

Amma, I know we have had our differences, and I know we will probably continue to do so for the rest of our lives. I know some of our arguments and fights have the potential to be etched in history as fierce battles that shook the very core of our relationship. Though I feign ignorance and irritation,  the reality is that I truly understand your concerns and worries. I also know that you will always find something to worry about, even if everything is well – You’re a mother after all, and worry is sort of second nature to you.

 

But today I want you to know this – When it comes to expressing emotions, I am terrible.(Just ask my wife:))

 

But remember:   you are my first pillar of strength and my unflinching support system; you’ve taught me how to love unconditionally; you’ve taught me  how to respect both men and women and value relationships; you’ve taught me how to be a better person!

 

And today on your birthday, I have just one message for you – I know that I’ve outgrown your lap; but I also know that I will never outgrow your heart. As for me, you’re the closest, I will ever come to magic!

I love you Amma – Happy Birthday!

 


 

Note:

Though this is a personal note for my mother on her birthday, I’ve opted to share it with all you lovely people for one simple reason. No matter how many arguments and fights we have with our parents, they almost always continue to love us unconditionally and hope nothing but the best for them. Often, we never realise the true impact of their love, till later in life.

For me, it took ‘being a parent’ to make me realise how indispensable my parents are for me. I may be termed as callous for what I’m about to say – but the truth remains, as much as I loved and respected my parents, until I became a father, I never knew what it felt to have your heart outside your body. Now, I do.

[Yes, a bit of cheesiness is warranted for. It’s my amma’s birthday, after all!]

PS: In spite of all this very public display of affection, if you ask my mother, she’ll probably still say I’m a Daddy’s Boy! Mothers, I tell you!

 

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56 Comments

  1. Sagi women are awesome 😀

    Such a lovely message this one 🙂 I want to know the after math. What was her reaction.
    Also I love the part when you talked about knowing that she wouldnt be the only woman you truly loved.
    SO true and so powerful.

    I know how hard it is for a sagi woman to be around you 😉 But then sagi women are awesome :p

  2. I had commented on facebook, but I thought I needed to come back here and comment on the post itself. I loved the way you playfully expressed your affection towards your mother. We all have deep feelings for our mothers, don’t we, however hard they try to make our lives at times ? [my opinion;)].
    I hope your sons sits up one day and write such a heart warming post about you 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for doing that, Maliny. Really appreciate it.
      Yep! I think it’s all that love that comes out in a way that sometimes makes our lives a wee bit harder 🙂

      As for my son, I’ll be happy if he doesn’t sue me for documenting his childhood mischiefs 🙂
      Sid recently put up this awesome post : ‘Amma’ MiaMy Profile

  3. Awww…such a cute, heartfelt letter to your Amma! Wish her a happy birthday from me, too!
    Mothers are such, no? They sacrifice everything for us and when do we realise it? When we are parents ourselves and when it’s time for us to be the unconditionally loving ones. This letter could be one by me for my mother! As I read your letter, I remembered my days with my mom, how I argued with her, fought with her and what-not (it embarrasses me no end when I think about it all) and now when I apologise for it all, she simply brushes it off, just like that! What would we ever do without our mothers, I wonder!
    Lovely lovely post!

  4. Wishing your mom a great birthday. Parents our the biggest supports in our life and yes the moms do occupy a special place. And you do express emotions quite well… surely your mom would be moved reading this piece!!!!!!

  5. Has your mother read this?? This is such a beautiful and a heart-warming celebration of your relationship with your mother! Belated birthday wishes to your mom and wishing her health and happiness!

    1. Haha…I don’t she loves all my post. But yes, she did quite enjoy reading this one. I think 🙂
      I’ll be sure to pass on your wishes. I’m sure Vidur has penned plenty such letters to you already. He’s a sweet kid.
      Sid recently put up this awesome post : ‘Amma’ MiaMy Profile

  6. Aww Sid, sniff, sniff and boohoo! This letter has made me all teary-eyed. I can totally relate to all you’ve said. My elder one will soon be leaving the nest and I am already quite apprehensive about how I am going to survive that. Moms will always find something to worry about, you are right on that count. Like someone said, there’s God in heaven and Mom on Earth! Loved this beautiful letter. Best wishes to your mum. Stay blessed always 🙂

  7. Yes we fight with her… we demand stuffs… and even leave when time comes… but it’s a mother who teaches us how to love and imparts life lessons for a lifetime. This is a beautiful dedication to your mom. It made me miss mine even more.
    rajlakshmi recently put up this awesome post : 10 points to Gryffindor!!My Profile

    1. We always will. That relationship between a parent and a child is so simple, yet has so many complex layers. I don’t think we ever will be able to totally comprehend the love they have for us.
      Sid recently put up this awesome post : ‘Amma’ MiaMy Profile

  8. Loved it loved it loved it Sid. Did u print it off for mum or send an online link?
    Strange butbtrue that we understand the depth of parental love only after the birth of out own child and see how it feels to have ur heart walk around outside u ,all vulnerable.
    Happy birthday to your Amma ❤️️

    1. She actually follows my blog. Well, my dad does and he showed it to her, I believe.
      He said she was in tears for a long time. The good kind, I hope 🙂
      Thank you, Sunila. I’ll be sure to pass on your wishes.
      Sid recently put up this awesome post : ‘Amma’ MiaMy Profile

  9. Such a beautiful note for your Amma. Thank you for sharing with us. The relationship between a parent and the child is an amazing one, replete with all emotions. Stay blessed Sid.
    Please wish your Amma a very happy birthday!

    1. Thank you, Uma. I just thought that it’s only fair that I share – i mean, I have friends who’ve tried again and again to express what they feel for their parents, but have said they couldn’t. So this one’s for them too.
      I will pass on your wishes.
      Sid recently put up this awesome post : ‘Amma’ MiaMy Profile

  10. Thankyou for sharing this with us Sid. True our parents love us unconditionally and being a mother I can understand that better now!
    Happy birthday to your Amma:)

    1. Haha! It is one of the few posts here that I did not spend hours composing and re-reading. Wrote it as one of those spur-of-the-moment things and I’m glad that a lot of people can relate to some of the things I’ve written.

      Good to see you here, Prasad bhai!

  11. This is beautiful, Sid. I almost choked up. Mums are special, aren’t they? And how much we fight with them and still they love us unconditionally. Well, a many many happy returns of the day to your, Amma. I’m sure she is extremely proud of you.

    PS: A funny and humour-laden post next, please. Stop making me emotional now! 🙂

    1. They really are!
      So are dads, but we’ll do another post later 😛

      You know what -I will. The last two ones have been emotionally taxing, haven’t they? Let me see if I can find some humour while standing in line at the bank 🙂
      Sid recently put up this awesome post : ‘Amma’ MiaMy Profile

  12. And here I was thinking this was a recipe for a pasta dish you created 😛

    So sweet this is! Makes me take a very different look at what I share with my mother. And I hate you for that. Naah, I can never do that 🙂

    Wish your mother a very happy birthday from me. Gosh, you would have been a chubby child. God bless her for carrying you around.
    Soumya recently put up this awesome post : Negative ChaosMy Profile

    1. Aha! Now that I think of about it, a pasta dish would have been awesome.

      I have those kind of days with my mom too. And I’m letting out one of your secrets here – I know how proud you are of your mom for being independent 🙂

      I was a very thin child – believe me! 😛
      Sid recently put up this awesome post : ‘Amma’ MiaMy Profile

  13. This made me smile for a number of reasons. It’s the Sid I like reading. Plus anything with gratitude for the parents makes me tear up. We owe them so much and whatever we do still never be enough to make it up to them.

    Be happy. Always. The love of a parent is an amazing thing.
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  14. That’s an adorable note for a mother to receive from her child. I’m sure it made her day. Happy birthday to her! I actually read the entire note from a mother’s perspective trying to connect it with my own son’s inner emotions. Quite touching, indeed.

  15. That’s a lovely note to your mom on her birthday. I believe parents and kids share a love-hate relationship. We go from absolute love to strife in the teenage years to almost having them somewhere in the background till we become parents. That is the time when we understand them better especially their flaws. That’s what happened with me as well. Parenting in that sense makes us better and more understanding.

    Wish her a very happy birthday and the best in life.

  16. Mom’s are such a unique creation. They give you so much ans yet nothing at all, all the reasons to love and hate. Everything comes from them. I think your mom is already pretty proud of this wonderful, considerate and just overall awesome person you are. Also, my one wish is to meet her someday 🙂

    PS: So this is where your massive dislike of PDA steams from, along with so many the wonderful things.
    Jaibala Rao recently put up this awesome post : My First Movie Memory #TadkaTuesdayMy Profile

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