Sometimes, I lie awake late at night, wondering if my underarms are pristine. Or about how many women I’ll be able to attract the next day. Confused? So am I. But that’s what some of the deodorant adverts seem to think occupies a large part of our brain activity, with their over-the-top humour and promises of aphrodisiacal effect on women.
Here’s the thing. Deodorants are cosmetic products that almost every man or woman will (or rather need to) buy. Especially in our great nation, where the humidity and heat repeatedly toy with our sweat glands and make us drip out every bit of water in our body. However somewhere and somehow, the modern deos (or rather their adverts) seem to imply that no more is it a product to merely get rid of body odour and keep you smelling as fresh as you perhaps did, when you got out of the shower. But rather it’s something to attract the opposite sex.
Perhaps that is the reason why my wife thwarts all my attempts to buy these new deodorants, that also seem to possess the superhero powers of a nasal aphrodisiac. I wonder if she thinks that if I spray one of these deos and walk out to buy some bread, a bunch of scantily-clad women might suddenly jump all over me.
The adverts confidently assert that their products somehow transform the user (in this case - me) from this absolutely normal person into this super-athletic man mountain of pure awesomeness, that no woman nor angels can resist. Or in some cases, even feminine pieces of furniture - like a French chaise lounge or a shiny, red table. Not even my dreams have such amazing powers of imagination.
Most brands proudly state that most of their ‘claims to fame’ are the result of intense research and surveys. I suppose, it is safe to say that their ‘research’ perhaps state that young (or senior) men fantasize about not just being attractive to women, but also about being irresistible to several at once. I understand that a lot of these adverts try to use the ‘humour’ philosophy to increases their sales figures. And yes, they have perhaps been rather successful.
And as much as I’d like to think that the modern man may have a bit more depth than the simple ’sex sells’ advertising doctrine suggests, the sales numbers and the plethora of adverts along the same lines, seem to suggest otherwise.
But then again, as we all know, sex sells. Even when it isn’t explicitly shown as such. Perhaps, that’s why a ‘new’ deodorant brand tried to break the barriers of innuendo advertising and showed a very feminine hand with finely manicured nails and a bright red nail polish, gently stroking a can of their deodorant in a very suggestive manner, causing the ‘container to increase in size’ from a ‘toddler to a hormone-raging teenager’ in just a matter of seconds. Oh, and explodes, mist and everything. All accompanied by a tiny line that says, ‘Now, in a BIGGER size’.
After all, the famous adage of a certain deodorant goes, ‘Spray more. Get More’.
And now, I shall take your leave. But not before I lavishly spray myself with half a bottle of my deodorant. So much so, that my neighbours two floors down can smell it. Oh, and those thud sounds that you just heard - No, it’s not semi-nude women, throwing themselves at me. That was a bunch of flies colliding into the double-glazed balcony doors of my apartment.
No doubt in an attempt to swarm all over my awesomeness.
These deodorant ads, I tell you!
Oh, Advertisement Gods. Kindly do not ban me. I mean well. Here's a bottle of deodorant as a peace-offering. I hear even Angels fall from the sky for it.
Image Credit : freedigitalphotos.net/chanpipat
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