There seems to be some mysterious power at work here.
The more I tell myself that I shouldn't do too many 'tag and you're it' type of posts, the more they seem to find their way to me. Maybe I have a beacon of sorts that attracts tags. Let me clarify - I have absolutely no issues with 'tag' posts. In fact, I enjoy reading more about other bloggers and getting these little snippets of personal information that help reveal interesting details about other bloggers. But the challenge is this - as I've said before, I feel that people may not want to read about me or things like I like and dislike. Yes, I'm weird. Hence why I don't take up many tag challenges.
So, once again, I’m making another exception. This time, it’s in response to a‘Daddy Tag’ that the lovely Suchitra, who blogs at ThePhdMama sent my way. She (and a few others) felt it would be an ideal fit for the Daddy Journals section of the blog, and after going through the questions, I agree. Also, I’ve been sort of stuck in a ‘non-blogging’ rut and figured, this may help me get out of it.
Suchitra - if you're reading this, apologies for the delay in picking this tag up. I've just had a very rough September.
Though I’m not tagging anyone to take this forward, I would sure love to read some answers. Maybe some of the blogging mothers can get the answers from their partners and spouses and put it up on their blog. Just a thought. So here goes:
Are you a Stay at Home Daddy or a Working Daddy?
Stay at home dad. Well, started as a SAHD. Now I’m more of a Work from home daddy, provided my 4yo’s schedules and mood swings let me work on something.
Would you have it any other way?
During the initial period, I may have second guessed my decision to be one. The way that sometimes society and everyone else around you behaves can sometimes have an effect on you - positive or negative. But the more I’ve donned the hat of a Stay at home parent, the more I’m enjoying it. I’ve got time to be with my son, I pay more attention to my wife since I usually crave adult conversation after a whole day of toddler talk and generally I’m happy with what I’m doing presently. So no, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Except maybe having some undisturbed me-time now and then.
Do you co-change dirty nappies? Even the very smelly ones?
I don’t have to now, but I have. In fact, I’ve even had him go ‘the unspeakable’ on me plenty of times. So all that malarkey you hear about men not knowing to change nappies and shy away and all that - I think things have changed a lot since then.
A little fairy gives you the possibility of breastfeeding? Are you going for it or do you run away?
Can i have a superpower instead? Well, technically this could be a sort of superpower, I suppose.
Also, if I hadn’t started working out over the past month or so, I was this close to developing the masculine version of breasts - *shudders at the thought*.
I suppose, I’ll do it. Why should women have all the fun? *Gulp*
What is the one must-have item for a daddy?
‘Unagi’ and Ninja skills.
If you want to defend yourself from stealth attacks and stray pieces of Lego blocks and Hotwheel cars that have been planted at strategic locations to be ‘discovered’.
Jokes aside, I’d say two things - a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and some sort of tablet or large screen phone with an internet connection. Oh, and some me-time to finally be able to use those.
How many kids do you plan on having?
Almost never now. When I do get to do a late night or party, it’s usually with some of my best friends - and they’re all women. So, not technically lads’ nights. But even they are very rare. I do miss them from the time I used to have them. Also since I started blogging, writing and becoming a Stay-at-home parent, I find myself like a lost Krishna amongst a kingdom of Gopis. :D
What? More kids? :P
I think we’re good with one. Would have loved one more, especially since I’m a single-child. Single kids have their benefits - but having a sibling or two rocks too. Sadly, life sometimes has other plans.
Lads’ nights? How often do you have them?
Your child’s favourite achievement?
I love the fact that he’s now able to read. When I say read, I mean me reading a book to him, while he browses the pictures of the story book and then repeats whatever I say to him. But yes, at least he’s interested. Also at par is that fact that he’s starting to be a little independent and wants to do certain things on his own. While at times, it gives me a handy little preview of how the teenage years are probably going to be, it still delights me.
What is your best memory with your kid(s)?
Would it be a cliché if I said he and I make new wonderful memories every day? Well, most days.But my best memory would probably be these few years that I’ve managed to spend with him. Yes, I crib a lot at times about not having some time for myself and how he pushes all the wrong buttons and makes me yell and scream. But the fact that I’m here for his formative years and have the opportunity to play a role in his upbringing - well, that’s pretty priceless and makes for lots of memories.
But if I had to pick a memory, I’d say our family visit to Goa last year. I can’t remember the last time we cut off from technology and did so many things together as a family.
Name one thing you miss since being a daddy?
Have you heard of ‘Couvade Syndrome’? It’s basically called sympathetic pregnancy which a condition in which a partner experiences some of the same symptoms and behaviour of an expectant mother. Most of the symptoms are disturbed sleep patterns, altered hormone levels and the mother of it all - minor weight gain.
Only one? I can name a few. Sleep for one. Now, I have to defend my face and other sensitive parts because my 4yo has ninja skills that he primarily uses on my when I’m asleep. The other thing I miss is couple time with my wife and impromptu getaways. Once you’re parents, everything requires a lot of planning and then contingency for when the plans don’t work out. So yes, I miss that time with my wife where we could just laze around a whole weekend or just go for a movie without thinking too much about what the kid would do.
Weight gain, before pregnancy, during, after and now? And we mean YOU DADDY, not the mummy!
If there was some sort of award - like an Oscar for ‘Best Actor - Couvade Syndrome’ - I would no doubt get that one. Because I think I lived and breathed that role, and a part of my mind and body forgot that the ‘pregnancy movie’ is now over and I need to stop gaining weight.
So yes, steadily gaining weight.
Dream holiday with your kids?
Oooh..a long holiday that involves a lot of nature - some trekking, some beach activities, some wildlife trails, and a whole lot of us time, with no pressure to try to fit in a large number of activities within a limited time frame.
Dream holiday without your kids or even without the other half? (You’re allowed to dream)
Am I allowed to ‘take’ someone else for company? Like a hot female celebrity? Ooooh, Scarlett Johansson. :P
A solo trip through Italy. Driving down those gorgeous coastal highways. Visiting Positano. So many.
I wouldn’t mind this being a couple holiday. The other place being a trip to Santorini. Oh…so many plans. So little money. And well, time.
How has your life changed since having kids?
On the positive side, I think I have some sort of a routine now. Mainly because, a lot of the things I do now revolve around our son and takes his interests and dislikes into consideration. And yes, realising that you are suddenly responsible for another person can be a huge wake-up call.
On the other side, we travel a lot less, which I’m not a big plan of. I used to be a late night person - now I HAVE to be a morning person, which isn’t great. And some days, even getting to drink a cup of coffee in the morning undisturbed is nothing short of a miracle.
Finish the sentence “It makes my heart melt when…”
…..when he smiles at me or says ‘Papa, let’s do something’ or gives me wet sloppy kisses and hugs with those tiny arms
Favourite beers brands and football team?
I don’t enjoy beer. So favourite drink - these days, Old Monk and coke. Cocktail - Long Island Iced tea.
But there are times where nothing but a good class of coffee will suffice.
I have some favourite sports, but I wouldn’t want to bore you with them.
Huggies or Pampers?
Neither. Now :) Well, mostly no - we do have *accidents*
Have you always wanted kids?
Yes. Always have. Not sure why, but I don’t think I’ve ever imagined a life without kids. But that’s not to say that I was desperate for kids either. Somewhere in the middle.
Best part of being a dad?
Being able to relive some parts of my childhood with my little one and the fact that you have the opportunity to both be a good friend, as well as a responsible parent to your kid.
Once again, thank you Suchitra for the tag and Shailaja & Jaibala for the push to take up the tag.
Note: I hope that this little ‘stand-in’ post will help break that writing block of mine while giving you some more details about the person behind Daddy Journals :) So do show some love.