We’ve all received them. Why, you may have received a couple of them earlier today. Or maybe even just a few minutes ago. Or perhaps a few of them are piling up in your inboxes even as you read this. Barring a few “extraordinary” cases, most of these “ messages” come bearing good news. In fact, they could be even incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully fantastic news. The only problem is that they’re almost always, too good to be true.
Welcome to the “Game of Spam(s)”.
Just like everyone else, I dislike spam emails. In fact, I barely even bother clicking on the folder so neatly marked SPAM in my various email accounts. But the thing is, spammers just get more and more creative. The marketing geniuses that they are, ever so often a couple of their too-good-to-be-true offers bypass the clearly-less-than-perfect email spam scanning software and end up in my Inbox. And if some of those emails in my Inbox are to be believed:
- I’ve just won 2Million Euros in a lottery held by ....hold your breath….Google Incorporation. No, not the fake Google Corporation who are based in Mountain View, California. The REAL Google Incorporation in Belgrave House in London. Now, it takes me by surprise obviously. After all, I never played the Google Lottery. But they explain everything so clearly in the email. The winners were chosen randomly from a pool of public emails. Imagine that! Winning a lottery without even playing it.
- If I act promptly, I have the unique opportunity to pocket $100Million from the account of a recently deceased African leader, who died in a plane crash, along with all his family, thereby leaving no next of kin. All I need to do is give them my bank account details and they’ll transfer me the entire amount. No questions asked. And here we say people are selfish and mean. We should really stop being so judgemental of African leaders who mysteriously happen to die along with their entire families, without so much as a will.
- I’ve just been pre-approved for the prestigious American Express Centurion credit card, which by the way is invitation only. I have to add - that makes my day. It feels amazing, because I’ve never been pre-approved for anything in my life. Even my wife did not pre-approve me (Yes, even with such a classy sounding pen-name like iwrotethose - can you imagine!)), I had to pursue her for 2 years before she said yes for a cup of coffee. If only I had been pre-approved for the credit card back then. I could have paid for the coffee instead of pretending I lost my wallet. Yes, and she still married me. She has a big heart, right?
- Apparently the Bank of America has contacted me because their Account Review team has identified some unusual activity in my account. I’ve been credited $500,000 from an unknown source and they have put on a temporary hold on the money. All I need to do to verify the account is click on the link that they’ve added and fill in my account details and they’ll release the funds. It all sounds incredible, right?. Who wouldn’t want a bank that puts a hold on fraudulent transactions. Now if only, I had an account with them, I’d be $500K richer.
- My laptop (or tablet or phone or whatever it is that connects me to my email) is a money-making machine. In their own words, it is “Fast Cash, Minimal Work, No Risk”. And here’s the deal clincher - I can work from anywhere. That’s awesome, isn't it? I mean it is so convenient for me to make those millions quickly, through minimum effort while I’m cruising in the Caribbean on my $150Million Yacht. Which I also WON, by the way just a few minutes back, because….no surprises….my email address just got lucky. (I must admit - of late my email address seems to be getting a lot luckier than Barney Stinson (from HIMYM) in the Playboy Mansion). Which brings me to the best one of the lot..............
- Elena, a sexy, gorgeous, smoking hot Russian model, thinks that I’d be extremely interested in a proposition that she has for me.(She says that she is sexy and gorgeous. I have no pictures to prove that. *Slowly drags the photo into his secret folder*). And she can’t wait to connect with me to show me a good time. Well, I hope she knows boxing, because my wife executes a mean uppercut. And yes, I’ve seen the upper cut in action.
So you see my dear friends, you too could be getting lucky (with money, of course :P ) right this very moment. Forget forwarding all those hundreds of good-luck chain emails and working hard to make ends meet. The solution to your future is right at the tip of your fingertips.
All you need is a simple little email address. So just click on the link and enter your bank account details. Your million-dollar-revenue generating email address is waiting for you.
P.S. Mr. Spammer who is always looking out for my good fortune, I'll see your Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ly too-good-to-be-true email. And I raise you a hippotomolittledouchebagliphia. Thanks for the entertainment.
Oh, and just to answer the prompt, "What is the first thing I would do, if I got some amazingly, fantastic news?”, I’d do what all modern human beings do - Facebook and Tweet it, of course!
This post is a BlogAdda Tangy Tuesday pick.
[This post is written for the Project 365 program at We Post Daily aimed at posting at least once a day, based on the prompts provided. Today's prompt was: You get some incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do? As always, I have twisted it] Image: Morguefiles.com/ Yoel